Joan of Arc: Bold and Brawny

Jeanne d’Arc (Joan of Arc) was a national heroine of France for her victories during the Hundred Years’ War against the English – and what a manly heroine she was.

Big and powerful, Joan of Arc was a fearsome maiden to look upon.

She first gained recognition in 5th grade when the boys in her class became jealous of the peach fuzz above her lip. By seventh grade she was shaving her face twice a week. She also gained notoriety for her overpowering performances on the football field during high school, accumulating 1,829 rushing yards and 23 touchdowns in just eight games before her senior season was cut short by her military career.

Wild and unruly, her constituents could not control her actions on the battlefield. Despite advice to the contrary, Joan of Arc assaulted the English stronghold called “les Tourelles,” which she is known for in France. Just before the battle, the Englishmen were jeering at her, calling her “John of Arc.” Infuriated, Joan led a successful attack on the stronghold despite an arrow wound to her neck.

Sadly, eight Englishmen captured her (seven Englishmen couldn’t quite detain her) later on in the war; she was convicted of heresy and burned at the stake.

Throughout history her story has changed, and she is portrayed as a beautiful woman. Her beauty has come about because of her heroics and personality. It’s true that beauty is only skin deep – although in the case of Joan of Arc, her skin was pretty thick, and the beard was hard to overlook.


4 Responses to “Joan of Arc: Bold and Brawny”

  1. 1 emily June 29, 2008 at 11:16 pm

    Sorry Dave (or maybe I should call you Davonna), your history is completly false unless you are claiming to know more about her appearance than the man who spent more time with her than anyone: Sir Jean d’Aulon. He said she was “beautiful and well formed.” Try re-writing history about someone whose life is not so well documented and maybe someone will believe your garbage.

  2. 2 Nathan Gallion June 30, 2008 at 12:29 am

    What? This is false? Guess I shouldn’t be using your info for my World History class this year…

  3. 3 Dave Newell June 30, 2008 at 7:33 am

    Emily has boldly (much like John, er, Joan of Arc) stated her feelings about The History Bluff, and rightly so. Rightly so since she believes the accounts of Sir Jean d’Aulon. But all of this raises an important question…who documented that Sir Jean d’Aulon was with Joan of Arc? How do we not know that he was an elaborate hoax devised to cover up the manliness of Joan of Arc? These are all questions we should ask ourselves.

    While we ask those questions, we should also pity those whose sense of humor has made like the Colony of Roanoke and gotten lost.

    With much respect,
    The History Bluff

  4. 4 Andrew Brandenburg June 30, 2008 at 3:59 pm

    I’ve read in history books that women with more masculine virtues were considered “beautiful and well formed” back in the time of Joan, in contrast to the petite and shapely femininity of today’s culture. Certainly that clears up what Sir Jean d’Aulon meant.

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